DEAR CATHRINE ZARN... IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR SINCE YOU LEFT US...
Dear Cathrine Zarn,
It’s been exactly one year since you left us. I have learned a lot about grief this past year. Grief comes and goes at the most random, unexpected times. Grief never ends. Grief takes on different forms. Since you were one of the closest people I have ever lost in my life I had no idea how I would handle myself in the days, months, and years that would follow since your passing.
As you know I had become more of a spirit junkie and spiritual person in recent years. I have to say I am so happy I did because it allowed me to see you and spend time with you on this Earth even though you don’t have a physical presence on this Earth anymore. I have come to believe in signs from the Universe and to ask for them at specific times and more often than not the Universe delivers.
I want to tell you about the times I felt you with me this past year. Every single time was very random and I never woke up with knowledge that it was going to happen that day. You came to me specifically in the sky! Each time I felt you with me it was when the sky was doing something magical, whether that was clouds parting different ways and forming shapes in the sky or if it was a magical California sunset. When this would happen I would literally hear your voice which I can assure you I will NEVER forget what that sounds like.
This happened often over the past year but then something truly insane happened to me. I was at a show with my brother where people were singing and performing and you came to me through a living person. A girl performing sat at our table singing and I felt you there sitting with us. She resembled you so much. Her look, sound, demeanor, attitude, style. All of it. It was such a powerful moment it actually brought tears to my eyes. This was the first time you had come to me and actually sat there with me and I felt you right there as if you were still very much alive and well on this Earth.
I want you to know that not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. I have learned to manage and live life knowing I am not able to pick up the phone and text or call you or just swing by your place on North Hayworth, but that isn’t me saying that this has been easy. It’s gut wrenching. So many dates and days and events bring me back to you. Your birthday this year, February 9th, you would have been 39 years young, that day in December when we exchanged Christmas gifts and little did I know it would be the last time I saw you, Thanksgiving when all I can think about is you refusing to let anyone host the OTF gang and friends even when you were still sick and recovering.
Remember when we cried together at Gabby Bernstein’s Book Tour! So happy I got to share this powerful moment with you! I know you are reading her new book in heaven!
Kitty Cat you will never be forgotten. Your spirit is alive here on Earth and I know you are living it up wherever it is we go when we leave this planet. I wanted to tell you that so many people have reached out to me to tell me they have also had experiences where they have felt you come to them! Keep coming to us Cat because we miss you every single day!
This was one of many chemotherapy treatments I accompanied Cat with. These were by no means fun days but I always did my best to keep the energy high.
I love you so much and can’t wait to see you again,
XoXo,
Brittney
